Butterfly Heaven

Friday, September 03, 2010

I'm procrastinating now...as you can see..i'm typing this post. =S

GBE can really go and die...cause i'm reading from scratch. This is what you get when you don't understand the lectures...and just stone there for 1 hr. =.=''

Anyway...sigh...a weird feeling in my heart today. I can't seem to get it right...thinking about so many things...whether i made the right choice or not. It just feels weird...and somehow...i think i still love HIM. Fk it la...just forget about HIM can? *slap slap* *pinch pinch* RAWR....unstable emotions all over again. Just really FML la.

Sigh...if i knew this was going to happen...i should not have even fall for you in the first place. If i didn't fall for you...i wouldn't have gotten into trouble...i wouldn't have been lied to...i wouldn't have gotten scars for you...i wouldn't even cry...i wouldn't even get hurt. But i did...and this memory can't be erased. FML really... just FML.

I can't believe i'm saying all this...as if he will read it anyway. No matter how hard i tried...deep down i still love and care for him. I really don't want him to get hurt by anyone else again...after reading his blog posts last time...and his old blog... I can't help but want to protect him from such a thing that may happen again, though he says it won't happen. But you never know the future...feelings sway..one moment they can love you a lot, one moment they can stop loving you.

I guess we all ask ourselves...what is the correct way of loving? Well...i guess there's no answer to this...except that we all have to find it out ourselves through understanding, experiencing, and going through with it to the end. Up till now...i still don't have a perfect understanding of what love is. All i know is that...if i were to love a person... i would be willing to go all out for him, even if it means i have to betray myself for him... to the end of the world with him...

Then i have another issue...about trust. How much can we trust a person? Based on experience... trust is a very difficult issue to handle...even between the best of friends...or family. Indeed some people do not have this issue...but that's only a minority. The world is filled with lies and more lies everyday. How much of it is the truth? And when one does actually tell the truth...how much can others believe?? I can honestly say...around 85-90%? There will always be a small percentage of doubt. Same goes for a relationship...how much trust can we place in the other person? Even between marriage couples...where both are supposedly able to trust each other fully... do lies occur...and because they trusted each other so much... that when a lie is told...it totally just falls to the pits. It's really sad...

Maybe some of you do not agree with what i said..but it's just my opinions. Feel free to express yourself on my tagboard. It is open for you to post your opinions. However, please write it in less offending manner yea? Try and start with "i think" or "i feel". =) Help me on changing my ideas if it's wrong. Perhaps i really do not understand it that much and hope to open my views. =)

Time to sleep now...and gotta wake up early for class. Good night to the world. Ciao...

signing off ~confused rinrin~

p.s. something is wrong with the freaking fonts...black text are so ugly~ =.=''

butterfly heaven
3:45 AM