Monday, September 20, 2010
a dilemma i am in....big big big dilemma. This time...it's really a hard choice....sigh....
Really need to talk it out with someone who can understand...it's really difficult.
butterfly heaven
5:25 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
today something stupid happened la...so pissed off by it.
what chinese custom shit? fk it ok? do i look like a person who follow chinese customs? u all only care about custom this and custom that...just fk it can? now what generation already? who gives a shit about customs?
dun go then dun go...in the first place... i wasn't even INVITED to go. If you want to stress so much on that...so be it! Explain it properly...instead of getting agitated! In the first place...you didn't say anything about it anyway! FK YOU ALSO!
signing off! ~angry rinrin~
butterfly heaven
1:50 AM
Monday, September 13, 2010
Arrr...whole weekend damn busy with dad's bday and sensei's farewell party.
Friday...slept in until very late, then my parents told me having dinner with relatives. Baby was going to drinking that night...and ya...i had a tiff with him over a stupid issue. And dinner was zi cha at Tampines St 81. Quite ok la...then at night, waited for B to finish drinking come my house...though was still a bit angry, but i waited for him until like 4am before he reached my house.
Saturday again had a tiff with B over HIS jacket. Oh well..i am returning it to HIM tomorrow anyway. And then evening had dinner with B at kopitiam...expensive dinner sia..2 people eat $27. LOL! Then after that, i went to farewell party with Hikari peeps at Timbre. Hmm..stayed there until 11 plus then took a cab home with Kailin. Then that night watched movie with B in the room while eating mcnuggets until 4am. Then B continued to watch Vampires Suck while i went to sleep.
Sunday lehs...had japanese class in the afternoon. Thanks B sent me there before he went home. After class, took a bus to CCK Lot 1 to wait for B. Took about 30 mins ba...not very long. Haha...then reached Lot 1, B say he just walking to go cut hair. =.='' then i went arcade to wait for him lo...caught two toys at there for $4. Haha..then waited for one group of people to finish playing the bishi bashi before i played it. Then happen B come le..then he wait with me. =S after arcade lehs, we went to walk around to find a present for my dad. Then bought him a Crocodile set (wallet + belt), then after that...B buy for me couple ring le. =) Muacks! After that lehs... went to draw money to pay cab fare later, then B went buy bet for football at the same time, then went to collect our rings. Was running late for dinner, then cab to Mount Faber Safra and my parents, sis and ramu started eating le. Oops...dinner was good as usual!! =) then Ramu sent us all home. heh~~
Today whole day at home studying RM...i think can fail la.
Okay..back to studying...
Signing off ~procrastinating rinrin~
$22 each rings...LOL! Thanks B!! MUACKS!
butterfly heaven
11:21 PM
Friday, September 10, 2010
^^
Hiak hiak...i just came home from watching Grown Ups at Tampines mall with B. =) Hardly went out with him since we got back together...there just isn't any time to....
And...tomorrow is a public holiday...and i'm gonna be at home studying for RM. RAWR. But i'll definitely catch up with Fairy Tail first...=) another 15-18 more episodes to go i guess? haha.. no problem. Won't be going out tmr anyway...coz B going drinking with his friends.
Maybe you will ask...huh? why you let him go drinking? not scared he do this or that?
Oh well...the only answer i can give you is that, sometimes we should just let go and don't control so much. In the first place...i've known him for so long...i can trust him pretty much. Plus, i would like to have my own freedom as well...so it's not right for me to take away his freedom.
I understand he feels jealous sometimes when i talk to my guy friends...but you know...they are just my friends. Even if i do like them or whatsoever, i'll still be loyal and truthful to him. And he knows this....so i guess i can trust him in whatever he does ba.
Anyway...even though i'm tired, gonna bathe and watch one or two episodes of Fairy Tail before i sleep.
Ciao~
Signing off ~sleepy rinrin~
butterfly heaven
2:25 AM
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Okays...i need to go study for GBE soon..=( procrastinate too much...now i cannot sleep for the night. How many coffee is it gonna take to keep me awake o...haiz...
But Fairy Tail is just too good...i can't stop watching it. =S how how how??? It's just so funny and interesting~!! bah bah bah....
just one more episode...this time...I PROMISE!!!!!
butterfly heaven
12:57 AM
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
B took half day leave just to sleep in with me today. So good ar...guess things really turn back to how it was 3 months ago le.
just started watching Fairy Tail...when i should be studying for GBE. Grrr...fked up module la.
Now just waiting for video to buffer while blogging...=) And then i promise just one more episode and off i go. =)
Guess i have to get some past year papers...hope my mcq can get full marks at least...then can save 10 marks of my exam. =X hope to pass with a D at least la...haha. I'm heck with this module. haha..i kinda just wanna focus on RM now. =S
Kk..i think buffer halfway liao. Fast fast watch finish...fast fast study. Haha..
Signing off ~procrastinating rinrin~
butterfly heaven
1:40 PM
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
1 down, 2 to go...and another 7 more days exactly before i finally can remove stress. =)
Haha...TLE paper was pretty okay...anyhow crap through. It's a law paper anyway...and most of it is about how you wanna argue your points. Okay...passable at least, the most can get C or B ba. Haha. =) and Fk..my phone rang during exam, and was hoping Mr Conrad didn't find out is who. Heng my phone silent before he reached the bags. =S Oh well...damn lucky.
And then after exam, wanted to head down to dhoby ghaut, instead on the way, saw Andrew and Mabel and they were going to club room, so ended up go there to slack. Haha...ended up play maplestory. Heh. Then after that, went to Dhoby Ghaut after lunch with Marcus and Andrew, and we went to play bishi bashi, house of the dead at zone x, then after that, went to virtualland to play fishing. Haha...thanks andrew ar!!! He really my lucky star lehs. I won 287 tokens today. LOL! Then then...after that went to catch toy. Heh!! $8 i caught one. xD
my $8 catch. =) so cute horrr...
So yups...at home now watching the Mentalist. But i'm more like waiting to watch CSI instead. =) Anyway...thanks B for buying dinner for me and peiing me today. Haha..heng he over, coz my parents weren't home. But they're home now.
Off i go...ciao.
Signing off ~bored rinrin~
butterfly heaven
10:18 PM
okays...i'm up and ready to go to school...but not really ready for TLE exam. But i think can pass la...took a little too long nap just now...and woke up to rush through studies. Sorry B for waking you up...
Anyway...had a little tiff with B last night...cause I hate being in a dilemma. Haiz..oh well...then we talked about it for 1 hour..then made up. Oh well...B is still sleeping at this time...gotta wake him up now, and he also got exams today but he haven't study finish, class also never go coz of work. Dunno how he going to pass sia.
Oh well...wish me good luck for TLE. Sure can pass...just how high nia. =S
Okays...ciao. =)
Signing off ~worried rinrin~
butterfly heaven
6:28 AM
Monday, September 06, 2010
Ah.. Ytd didn't blog coz didn't have time. Came home quite late and rushing off to B's hse to pass him his stuffs and stayover coz next day going to school to study. Currently in school now but I can't study at all. Somehow.. Just can't study, and some question on ethics i can't answer at all. Sigh... This is not the worst. I'm afraid of gbe. Sigh!!!
More sighs when I have to study RM after gbe. =( anyway.. Ytd went Vivo after Jap class to watch philwinds play. Pretty good performance.. And met my sis after that. Then she not joining me for dinner. So i joined her friends for dinner instead while she send back the instruments. And we went marche. Good dinner!! Haha. After that walked around a bit at pet safari before I went dhoby ghaut for a bit of arcade before I went home.
Bah... Now I hope I can study. As usual.. Won't w sleeping tonight. Coz paper is in the morning at 9am. If I sleep.. I'm bound to oversleep like nuts. =s so cannot risk it. And I think things are like the way before now.. It's like nothing ever happened in the past 3 months. Oh well.. Just that I can't believe that I have met so many people during the 3 months that I jus felt they I knew them for very long. D= oh well.. I appreciate the people who have been there for me. Somehow I feel normal again. =) just hope to see some people soon after my exams and before my internship. =) hope i pass ar!! Even a D I oso happy can?? =s
Okay!! Back to studying!! =s how am I going to survive man. Gd luck to myself. Anoter stress for 7 days. Time really passes quickly.
Signing off ~procrastinating rinrin~
butterfly heaven
10:06 AM
Saturday, September 04, 2010
I just reached home from a half day activity...pretty taxing on the walking...but it was great day. =)
Ytd night went with B to his friend's house to play Mahjong. Started only around 12plus am because before that went NTUC to buy some food to cook. Then was kind of like dozing off watching the guys play mahjong...so had to eat to keep myself awake...and B's friend let his dog out. Omg la...it's a golden retriever in a HDB corner flat. D= So cute la...it was whining coz it wanted to sleep. And B says one of his friends looking for GF...any takers? =) I help you intro.
Then after that, took over B to play mahjong...thanks for their understanding that i arrange tiles slow ar!! =S But managed to win a bit for B...haha. Then play until 3am then decided to go home liao...
Anyway...from there...slept all the way until 2 plus this afternoon. Got woken up by Shawn's call to ask me to out. LOL! I tot i will be studying so i rejected him...but then, decided to head down to Ben and Jerry's Chunkfest 2010 with Da sai de to eat ice cream, then also invited Shawn to go, but he cannot reach on time, so decided to meet him after that at Esplanade lib. Hehh...so after lunch, B took MRT with me all the way to Raffles Place MRT, then i waited with him for his train to Marina Bay (coz he wanna sit down and take train back up). So met Da sai de at control station then walk to Marina Barrage. Nothing much to see sia...just Da sai de taking some pictures of the event and scenery and me..lol. Then we were standing there watching some people participating in the ice cream competition, where they have to eat approx 20 scoops of ice cream (mix of the new flavors) in the shortest time possible. Haha...so jelat. =S Then we also bought 3 scoops of ice cream to share. Tried chocowlate chips, peanut butter and maple blondie..not bad, but i think the chocowlate chips one not that nice..coz of the dark chocolate mix they put in...dunno what dark chocolate is that. LOL!
Then after that, we walked all the way to MBS the shopping mall there...along the way took some pics, then he walk with me all the way to Esplanade. So sad Da sai de go home le...then after that met Shawn, and we both went to Marina Square to had dinner at Yoshinoya. Thanks Shawn for buying the tics to Vampire sucks earlier. Haha...=) Anyway...we shared some stories with each other over dinner...then went arcade to play a bit before heading to the cinema.
Vampires Suck was a damn freaking funny movie and it's worth watching...everyone was like laughing in the cinema. Haha...then after movie, walked with Shawn all the way to Suntec to go play Bishi Bashi...lol. Wanted to treat him play..he don't want. Funny sia...oh well. Nvm. After that, sent Shawn halfway to MRT then went to meet my parents. After that, ate some food at FoodRepublic then came home liao.
And i better start studying TLE tonight...=) and hopefully get some Jap hwk done too. B got a game tmr...but i can't go. Probably will meet him for dinner and stay over his place ba though mon he going sembawang for work.
Ciao then...
Signing off ~cheery Rinrin~
P.s. i wanna play more bishibashi...rawr...
butterfly heaven
11:30 PM
Friday, September 03, 2010
Alright blogger...can you tell me what the hell is wrong? why are you refusing to change my text colour and font??? =.='' Grrr...how many times i posted it and it still reverts back to YOUR fonts. Go die can? So damn ugly....
Decided not to go GBE and study from home...better scan Weisheng's RM mst answers for Meiyi later also...
Feeling damn tired...and somehow wanna fall back to slp but i can't. And B is angry over the past that happened...aiyah...that person also never accept it, even break friendship after that...you think i really will do it meh? Crazyyy....
Having gastric now at the moment...argh...blog again soon.
Ciao~
butterfly heaven
10:18 AM
I'm procrastinating now...as you can see..i'm typing this post. =S
GBE can really go and die...cause i'm reading from scratch. This is what you get when you don't understand the lectures...and just stone there for 1 hr. =.=''
Anyway...sigh...a weird feeling in my heart today. I can't seem to get it right...thinking about so many things...whether i made the right choice or not. It just feels weird...and somehow...i think i still love HIM. Fk it la...just forget about HIM can? *slap slap* *pinch pinch* RAWR....unstable emotions all over again. Just really FML la.
Sigh...if i knew this was going to happen...i should not have even fall for you in the first place. If i didn't fall for you...i wouldn't have gotten into trouble...i wouldn't have been lied to...i wouldn't have gotten scars for you...i wouldn't even cry...i wouldn't even get hurt. But i did...and this memory can't be erased. FML really... just FML.
I can't believe i'm saying all this...as if he will read it anyway. No matter how hard i tried...deep down i still love and care for him. I really don't want him to get hurt by anyone else again...after reading his blog posts last time...and his old blog... I can't help but want to protect him from such a thing that may happen again, though he says it won't happen. But you never know the future...feelings sway..one moment they can love you a lot, one moment they can stop loving you.
I guess we all ask ourselves...what is the correct way of loving? Well...i guess there's no answer to this...except that we all have to find it out ourselves through understanding, experiencing, and going through with it to the end. Up till now...i still don't have a perfect understanding of what love is. All i know is that...if i were to love a person... i would be willing to go all out for him, even if it means i have to betray myself for him... to the end of the world with him...
Then i have another issue...about trust. How much can we trust a person? Based on experience... trust is a very difficult issue to handle...even between the best of friends...or family. Indeed some people do not have this issue...but that's only a minority. The world is filled with lies and more lies everyday. How much of it is the truth? And when one does actually tell the truth...how much can others believe?? I can honestly say...around 85-90%? There will always be a small percentage of doubt. Same goes for a relationship...how much trust can we place in the other person? Even between marriage couples...where both are supposedly able to trust each other fully... do lies occur...and because they trusted each other so much... that when a lie is told...it totally just falls to the pits. It's really sad...
Maybe some of you do not agree with what i said..but it's just my opinions. Feel free to express yourself on my tagboard. It is open for you to post your opinions. However, please write it in less offending manner yea? Try and start with "i think" or "i feel". =) Help me on changing my ideas if it's wrong. Perhaps i really do not understand it that much and hope to open my views. =)
Time to sleep now...and gotta wake up early for class. Good night to the world. Ciao...
signing off ~confused rinrin~
p.s. something is wrong with the freaking fonts...black text are so ugly~ =.=''
butterfly heaven
3:45 AM
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Currently in clubroom...going back soon. Meeting B at Redhill Mrt after his presentation at school then go home together and supper or supper first then go back together.
Oh well...something happened today...that made me feel so fucked up. Don't wanna care about it anymore...
I appreciate some people who support how i think...but with regards to the matter that happened...i do not wish to remember it...thanks.
butterfly heaven
9:48 PM
Ahahahaha....
I ended up watching videos from Da sai de facebook profile since i reached home at 9pm..lol. Tmr still have to go sch to study...then do GBE revision paper for Friday revision class, then still have work in the afternoon... >.<
Today kinda like talking things with kenneith on the phone...ask how to track IP. Too bad...i asked around, but it doesn't work in Singapore i guess. =S Only can trace back to Internet Service Provider (ISP), new term i learnt today. LOL! And that was at like 7 plus this morning after i sent B off to work, coz he stayed over my place last night. Which reminds me...last night was epic. My dog peed on the floor mattress that he was suppose to sleep on...coz she angry with my dad for ignoring her. Haha...oh well. Then had to wash the whole thing. Then took the big mattress from my bro room to slp on. Oh well....slept with B ytd...ya..okay..i missed sleeping in his arms. But somehow the feeling abit weird...but still felt like how it felt few months ago...argh...
Anyway...i told him that i'm still single until we are stable then re-announce that we are back together. Later announce already, then not happy, break up again...wah...siao liao. Sure kenna ppl say bad things again. Oh well...
Argh...i better go bathe and study. I haven't even finished TLE and i still have GBE to cover...
CIAO~~~
butterfly heaven
12:13 AM
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Let's just say....
Finally somebody understood how i felt when the same thing happened to me while i was with HIM, how i felt when their posts were on HIS wall.
I know you read my blog...my previous entries and stuff. I know you are jealous and stuff...
But like i said earlier on...we are just friends now. No worries...if i didn't treat him as a friend, i would have caused a commotion today. =)
Plus...as i told you before, it is against my morals to snatch away other people's happiness.
Why did i say that? Because i believe in retribution. If i did steal somebody's happiness now, maybe somebody will steal my happiness from me in the future. And i had faced this scenario just 2 months ago with someone else, and 4 years ago with my best buddy (when i was 15).
BUT...i'm not saying that you did snatch somebody's happiness away. After knowing the truth, all i can say is that HE chose you...and you should be happy, and not being jealous, as what HE told me that you are not that type of person. So prove to me that you are not...be a strong girl. Since HE decided to choose you...you should have more confidence in yourself.
For me...because i decided to let go already, and what i have faced for the past 1 week...probably God pitied me and decided to return me what i lost. And i'm happy with just that...maybe it won't be the same again, but i promise it will be better... else 1 and half years relationship gone like that... it just ain't worth it if the root of all problems was because i am not opening up myself. And i can honestly tell you..HE has helped me on this area...and i'm sure HE will do anything (from travelling to your house or flying half the globe to wherever you are) to find you and make sure you tell him your problems when you are feeling sad.
Like i said in my tags...if you do have any problems...feel free to approach me. I may not be able to give the best advice, but i definitely can help to listen to any girl problem that you have. You may feel hesitant or scared to approach me...but I'm not somebody who will bear grudges against you unless you are one of my closest friends and did something bad to me (though i still forgave them after some months/years...=X my heart is too soft..sigh. Act yi ge steel heart.)
That's all i have to say for now..=) Hope you will cheer up soon k?
Jia you for your exams...
butterfly heaven
1:03 AM
