Butterfly Heaven

Saturday, August 28, 2010

My thoughts for Day 4 part 2:

Saw that you privatised your blog...and you wouldn't let me read it...

It's ok...i'm fine with it. You have your own privacy that you don't want me to probe...

But you're confusing me real bad... I'm seeing a very big contradiction....

I just want to hear you explain to me what you mean...and it was so difficult.

But i really am confused...confused to the point that...i don't know what to do now...

Are you telling me to stop understanding you better, to stop loving you, to stop trying so hard, because you don't love me anymore? That there is no hope for us?

Or because you love me too much, you don't want me to be hurt by you and you want me to leave you, therefore you are behaving this way?

Well...all i can say is that...I'm happy to be with you, even if it means just sleeping all day or cuddling all day or doing nothing the whole day.

Or even at this status that we are in...just seeing your face, hearing your voice, seeing your replies, makes me very happy even though the contents are sad.

I'm sorry again if i have disturbed you...but i really don't understand.

Maybe you're right....i should just stop trying so hard....cause it seems the harder i try, the further you are... and of course...i don't want that to happen.

But i just want you to know that...no matter what kind of person you are... i still love you for who you are...and i want to respect you for who you are.

I hope you will give me that chance....

Dear God... Please stop my heart from crying... It hurts. Amen.

butterfly heaven
3:13 AM