Butterfly Heaven

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My thoughts for Day 3:

Thinking about you the whole day...

Somehow i was angry that you couldn't meet me today coz you wanted to meet your other friends.

Perhaps your other friends are more important than me...i wouldn't know...

But it hurt me a lot..and you weren't happy that i was angry...

After talking to you and clearing up some stuffs with you after work...I cried badly in the toilet, at all that you said to me. I felt hurt...i felt that i'm trying too much...i felt...useless. I honestly don't know what to do...You say you felt threatened, but i honestly wasn't threatening you. I just wanted to see you...that's all. It's just so simple...why make it so hard for me to see you? why make me miss you so much?

I have decided to stop trying now...and wait for you in silence. You will contact me when you are free you said...i don't know when you will ever be free for me now. Maybe you wouldn't even want to see me. Until then...i'm going to hide my feelings for you...but i will still miss you in my heart. I still keep your msgs in my phone...i'm not sure if you still keep my msgs in your phone. Our pic is still my DP...i won't change that. Hope you will understand what i'm saying...

I love you...i miss you...i really hope to see you...

Anyway...

Dear God...can you stop me from tearing?? Amen.

Tomorrow is another counselling session for me...i have no idea what to bring up to Dr Zena. I don't think i will bring up my relationship to her, because i don't want to cry again...

butterfly heaven
8:40 PM